WEALTH WISDOM 🧘‍♂️ WEDNESDAYS WITH ALEX MUIR!

Hey, and welcome to the Live Cottage Wealth Wisdom Wednesdays. This is your host, Alex Muir, host of the Mindset Podcast, Mindset Creator, helping you flex your mind, body, and soul. And today, we're gonna be talking about three signs that you're not safe with yourself. So, what does that look like? What does that mean? Number one, you have a difficult time saying no. So, when you have a good difficult time saying no, Again, I'm your host, Alex, Alex Muir. sep TikTok channel, Speak Wonder. Welcome to the live.

Thanks for tuning in. This is 6:30 PM Pacific. And we're diving right into three signs that you're not safe being yourself. And the first one, like I was mentioning, The art of saying no can be really challenging for a lot of people. We feel like we're letting people down. Hey, Sweet Wonder, how you doing? We feel like we're letting people down. We feel like we might feel guilty saying no because like the FOMO, fear of missing out. This is something that me and my wife still battle to this day because we're the kind of, you know, people pleasers.

We want to please people, but because we've been dealing with the grief of potentially losing some my wife losing her father and me losing my father-in-law because of everything that's gone on that's why I was a bit MIA for a bit and navigating that we've had to say no more we've had to be force ourselves to say no more because our emotional bandwidth has been zero for any extra friend time any extra family time I'm a recovering people pleaser. Yeah, it is difficult to speak wonder. It is really difficult.

I can't tell you how challenging it is, right? Of course, we want to be there for our friends. We want to be there for our family, extended family, et cetera. But sometimes we just can't. Sometimes we do have to say no. And regardless of how people feel about it, yes, it can be really nerve wracking to say no sometimes it can be, but You can start by kind of maybe, I don't know, there's ways to phrase it, right? Where it's not like a total flat no if you're not ready to say no right away. But basically what I do, what I like to do, what I've started to do instead of saying no, I will pull back my communication.

Now I know that might not be the best strategy for everyone, But when I say pulling back my communication, I'm slightly pulling back how much I'm communicating with people that I can't necessarily say yes to at this time. Because I'm preoccupied with what's going on in my life, me and my wife's life. And unfortunately, in certain circumstances, that means saying no. And then when people are like, Oh, where have you been? What have you been up to? I just say straight up, I'm dealing with some stuff right now.

I'm dealing with a personal matter right now, and I'll get back to you and we'll reconnect at a later date. So that's kind of one way of doing it, rather than saying a flat no. , figure out whatever you're comfortable saying. So the art of saying no. This is something that's very, very challenging for a lot of people, myself included, my wife included. So again, three signs that you're not safe being yourself. So that's sign one. Sign two is you're ignoring or neglecting your personal passions. What do I mean by that?

You could have been let's say in high school, in middle school, in elementary school, let's say you had this like big passion, this dream of something, this vision of something, but it got suppressed because of societal norms, societal expectations, family expectations, where they're like, no, no, no, no, no, what? You want to do, you want to be an artist? You don't want to be a lawyer or a banker or a dentist or a doctor? What? An artist? Why? Have you ever Let me know in the comments, has anyone ever had that kind of interaction from their parents or friends or anything like that?

Let me know in the comments because when you're a child or you're in your formative years and you're growing up and you're trying to figure out what it is you want to do, career trajectory, that can be really emotionally damaging, right, for your kids because they're like, you know, that might stifle their wanting or yearning to do something that could be actually very impactful and could be a great career decision for them. So when they get that kind of reaction from peers or parents or family, extended family or friends, that could squash that dream right in its tracks and they won't even want to revisit it ever again, potentially, depending on the emotional balance that was done in that moment, right?

And again, it's not always necessarily that person's fault. That's interacting like that with, with someone about their dream and stuff. They had, they might not have any idea. Right. But a lot of times, um, people don't know how to figure out what their dreams are. People don't know how to, don't know how to experiment. So sign two, you're not, you're not living by your life's true passion. So ways that you can do this, go to a community event of, of, uh, engaging in something or with someone, um, that lights you up that you're like, I gotta try this, I gotta try this.

Your intuition, your heart will lead you in the right direction of moments where you're like, oh my God, like you're listening to something in a song or something on the radio or a TV commercial or there's all these little idiosyncrasies that will pop up when you're in tune with your personal life map, your compass. Everyone's got their own personal compass that helps them determine, is this for me or is this what everyone expects of me? Really, really pay attention to that. Because a lot of us fall into that of we get to a certain point in life, maybe we're really successful actually doing that thing, but that's not our thing.

That's not Speak Wonders thing, that's not Alex's thing. It might be a thing for you that you recommended that we do But it's not our thing because we neglected to really search within what is it that we want? What is it that I want? As soon as you can answer that question and you start to experiment, you journal, you look up podcasts that are maybe have your dream, like people talking about the dream that like, let's say you want to be an artist or a content creator or a personal trainer or a dancer or whatever it is, doesn't matter what it is.

utilizing journaling, podcasting, audiobooks, they will stimulate different ideas. And then when you're going through life, you will find more and more things and cases that maybe reaffirm what it is that your dreams, hopes, and aspirations in your vision are what you're looking for. So that's sign two is neglecting your personal purpose, your vision, your dreams when maybe it was societal expectations um that were in the way and then sign three what would be sign three I would have to say so the art of saying no um passions neglecting your personal passions and then I would probably have to say but something else that doesn't make you feel safe let me know the questions for sign three what do you think would be sign three of you're not feeling safe within yourself.

Oh, I would say this. So we talked about the art of saying no. We talked about sign two being living your life's true passion. I would have to say number three would be fear of giving it a shot, saying yes. So there's the art of saying no But there's also the art of saying yes and just trying for the sake of trying, despite the outcome. I come from a numbers background. I'm very numbers, analytics, sales driven because that's been my industry of choice. I don't necessarily like that aspect of it because I'm a little bit obsessive and hyper fixated on results.

And that can be a detriment to the process because the process is actually the funnest part. Yeah, fear of success. Sign #3, you're afraid of, sign #3, your fear of success, you're afraid that you could be, your vision, your goal, your dream can become so big that it's hard to manage potentially, right? You might, you're afraid that you might not have help. You're afraid that, or so you're for fear of success or just fear failure in general. You're afraid of going all in on something and it failing and then you look the way that you look to your friends, your family, your spouse, potentially.

These all play a role in our safety, in our security, in our personal well-being, what we're able to handle and what we're willing to do to get to that next level and what we're not willing to do. And I just want to tell you, I've failed a lot. I've failed so many times. I've made myself look like a fool a lot of the time. But I've always found if I do it, regardless of what happens, that's how we get ahead. That's how we keep, if we keep moving forward, despite those feelings and those feelings suck.

Those feelings do suck in the moment. When you feel like you let someone down, you've made a fool of yourself, you've embarrassed yourself. But if you keep going despite those feelings, that pain, it's kind of like an inner pain, emotional turmoil, your emotions tugging at you like, oh, this is too uncomfortable. This isn't good. Keep forging ahead. Keep going. Those feelings are temporary. And if we keep going despite those setbacks, we're going to live our dream life. We're going to reap what we sow and eventually we will refine that process that we've been working towards and it's going to become reality, our dreams and our vision and we're going to be in the exact place that we were meant to be in.

So there's some food for thought. There's some strategy on fear of success, fear of failure. going all in on your passion that's meant to be yours and your path that's truly meant for you and the art of saying no. So thank you all for tuning in to this live of Wealth Wisdom Wednesday. sep, my TikTok channel. And I help ladies and gentlemen like yourself flex your mind, body, soul through brain and body optimization hacks. Stay tuned for this upcoming Sunday, Sunday Spark Sessions. Thank you for tuning in, Speak Wonder.

Thank you for your feedback. Thank you for everyone that tunes in to my lives. I really appreciate you all and love you all. Cadre Sphere. Take care. Flex. Yeah.