Leading With 💕 Love

Hello cadre sphere. m. m. because our evenings now jam-packed with kiddos doing all these activities and tonight we have a lot of teacher meetings so I bumped it up. I am Aneela Adnani and I am one of the co-founders of HabitAware and we help people with subconscious mental health conditions, things like hair pulling, skin picking and nail biting. I've been on the cadre sphere for a few months. Hello our stigmas, good to see you. It's been a while. I've been on the cadre sphere for a few months maybe about a year with some stints in and off out and in.

Hi 1% better, I like that. Let's all be 1% better today. We'll add up quickly I think. Well, I'm here today at 3 o'clock instead of 8 o'clock because of kiddo school schedules and it is September 18th and that means we are still in our safety theme for September and focusing on emotional and relational safety and when I saw this last night thinking about what I wanted to talk about I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about and now it's kind of who osh out of my head but there was one thing that Nicole from Team cadre mentioned and gave us notes on which was this idea of boundaries and how boundaries help create a sense of safety.

And for me that takes me back to when I was going through my breast cancer diagnosis which was in 2022 so in late 2021 I went for my annual physical and my doctor primary care said oh you turn 41 this year it's time to go get your mammogram so I did and then because of the December holidays and then COVID in January I finally got tested at post mammogram or the ultrasound because they had found something and it was cancer and in going through that process one of the things I did was I went back to therapy and they helped me identify my boundaries and I'm using the word boundaries but what they were they use was values and I think that in order to stay safe in this world we have to know what's important to us our values and those then become the boundaries that we can put up and I want to use the word walls walls is usually used as a negative term like you know someone falls into a deep depression and they start putting up walls and then you can't get through to them and you can't help them but I do think in this day and age maybe we need fences not just not walls because that's too solid but I do think we need to set ourselves up for success and for love and for peace by putting up boundaries by putting up our screens of our values so that when we are fed tons of tons and tons of information like on social media or hopefully you're not because you're hanging out in here in the cadre sphere instead of on those screens but in that way we can kind of connect with others who share our same values and build solid relationships with those folks and connections and those boundaries also allow us to say yep I'm gonna let that in nope I'm not gonna let that in right so it's like that that tap that we can turn on and off and so during my breast cancer diagnosis I was doing a ton of different things not just helping people with body focus repetitive behaviors which is the mental health condition that we help people with at habit aware but I was teaching I had two young kids I was on two startup nonprofit boards and so with that exercise of identifying my values it became clear that if it wasn't my creativity and my spirituality and my health mental health physical health if it wasn't my family and the adventures and joy and fun that we create together and if it wasn't my BFRB community I wasn't going to engage and that is how I stayed safe and that is how I stayed sane during that time period now I'm happy to report that I'm completely better for whatever that means but it the whole cancer diagnosis and surgery and all of that it's a chapter in my book that I am shutting I used it to my advantage to change my life to identify my boundaries and to now live by them so that I can make my world safe for me so that I can be strong enough be energized enough be loving enough to do the work that I believe I'm meant to do on this earth and that's that's exactly why we all need to make sure we are setting up boundaries for ourselves because we're all meant to do something here and if we are bogged down if we are not feeling safe if we are bombarded with what ifs and mo ory and um confusion we cannot do what we are meant to do and so when we are safe we can create a world that is safe for others and so that's what I want to leave you with today and that is what leading with love is is creating a world that is safe for others it means my actions do no harm your actions do no harm or do as least do as least harm as possible because I know sometimes you know you can't predict um so I'm hopeful that that was helpful to anyone out there watching and one percent better thanks for sticking with me and our stigma is good to see you and I'd love to know if you're still here if uh if this resonates and if so what your values are and how you use those to um set your boundaries and create your safe space and if you're not here then let me know in the comments tag me it'd be great to get to know you and I welcome it so that I am getting pinged and notified to come hang out in cadre instead of pinged and notified to be on those other platforms which do make me worry and overthink and it'll be helpful to me so what's helpful to you will be helpful to me too see do no harm spread love strength and awareness bye