Pastor Seth Perry is in bipolar recovery, and he's also in recovery from addiction. In church and in personal development circles, sometimes people want to put a lot of pressure on you for big change. The change of the year doesn't mean a profound change in yourself.
Pastor Seth Perry is in bipolar recovery, and he's also in recovery from addiction. My clean date's coming up in 2025, April 12, 2010. How are you going to have a healthy relationship with the change of year?
How are you going to have a healthy relationship with the change of year? I've developed a system where I'm only really making small changes. I don't want to get caught up in the hype. I want to stay grounded.
In church and in personal development circles, sometimes people want to put a lot of pressure on you for big change. I carry a certain amount of stigma with me. How can I adjust to suit my particular needs? And I'm glad we talk about it here on Cadre.
The change of the year doesn't mean a profound change in yourself. It does mean a healthy relationship with giving yourself grace. Let's get the shame out of people being realistic about what they can actually do. I hope you have a wonderful change of year.
Hello. I got a question. How are you going to have a healthy relationship with the change of year? So as people join Live right now, I'm going to introduce myself. My name is Pastor Seth Perry, and I'm a pastor. I'm in bipolar recovery, and I'm also in recovery from addiction. I've been out of the psych ward for close to 15 years. My clean date's coming up in 2025, April 12, 2010. And, yeah, I'm in recovery from addiction, and I'm also a pastor. So AJ12, welcome. And Jules, hello and good afternoon.
So this is your winter arc. We'll call it the winter arc. That's the catchphrase that has become pretty popular. And I'm asking the question, how are you going to have a healthy relationship with the change of year? So for everyone who's watching right now, you can go ahead, put that in the chat. Answer that question. How are you going to have a healthy relationship with the change of year? And good afternoon to you, AJ12. I'm glad that you've joined me. So it's this time of year where I'm looking ahead at 2025, and I don't want to get caught up in the hype.
I want to stay grounded. So, I mean, I do have a bunch of stuff right here. Note cards of things that I want to change. I have 35 note cards of things, small habits that I want to change. I want to read more. I want to do to do lists for stuff to do around my house more. I want to unplug. I want to write. I want to do some reading. I got a bunch more. Right? So how am I not going to be overwhelmed for that? Well, I've developed a system where I'm only really making small changes. I've looked at a lot of personal development books and stuff, and I'm adjusting to my own abilities and expectations.
So I want to kind of think a little bit about the stigma that I carry as someone with bipolar disorder. And in church and in personal development circles, sometimes people want to put a lot of pressure on you for big change. Like, you start a book that promises big change, right? You start a personal development book that's, you know, just going to shift your entire life in a set period of time. You'll look on YouTube, personal development YouTube channels, and they'll say, 90 days to change your entire life.
And I kind of go, what? I got bipolar disorder. I am still in recovery from addiction. I'm managing that daily. I have limitations. So I also, you Know, carry a certain amount of stigma with me. And I'm just sort of wondering, how can I adjust? You know, I want to change. How can I adjust to suit my particular needs? And I think that's something we need to talk about more. And I'm glad we talk about it here on Cadre. So I've asked the question, how are you going to have a healthy relationship with the change of year?
Now we've got Juul saying, I've already signed up for races to run to keep me motivated to work out. That's excellent. I like that you make a plan, right? And in 2025, I have a lot of plans made. And I'm seeing that in order to get to that goal and to get to that plan, that I need to put certain small, micro actionable steps that I can actually implement in my. In my life. And breaking things down smaller for me works. And I mean smaller even than someone like James Clear might suggest in his book Atomic Habits, which is a great book.
But when I look at that, I go, oh, boy. Okay. While I still manage my bipolar disorder, I need to kind of make an adjustment, right? Same goes in personal development, that is in the spiritual realm for myself in the Christian world. I think that there may be expectations on people in my role as a pastor that I certainly need to adjust. So I just want to say this. I want to give you permission that as you look at growing and changing, it's all right for you to adjust the expectations. Like, hey, it's okay to miss a day, miss two days, miss a week of change.
I've done it so much in my life, and I've always seemed to be able to get back on track even a month of change, right? There have been times where I've stagnated, where it feels like maybe it's an even a year of stagnation. There are going to be setbacks, There are going to be f ups, right? You know, and I think that I have started to develop a healthy relationship with making mistakes or faltering or not enacting change, not embracing new habits, falling back on old habits. So there is a balance that I believe exists for myself.
So I need to give myself a lot of grace. But by no means should I actively not change, right? If I have consciousness around particular habits that I know are going to be beneficial for my physical health, my spiritual health, and my mental health, I'm going to have to take those moments where I know that I need to make a decision and be aware and try, right? And try so if it means making the decision to get to bed early, maybe that's one tiny habit that I need to shift going into the new year. And I'm talking on the smallest scale.
If it's like, am I going to sit on the couch for another 10 minutes or go up and get a drink of water? That's the level of change that I'm looking at. Right. So we've got Jules saying, yes, some days I don't work out because I don't feel it. For whatever reason, I give myself some grace and rest. So I think that sums it up, really. Jules comment is excellent because grace and rest are good things. Let's get the shame out of people being realistic about what they can actually do. Let's get the stigma out from under the foundation of New Year's resolutions.
I like the term winter arc better than new New Year's resolutions. So the change of the year doesn't mean a profound change in yourself. It does mean a healthy relationship with giving yourself grace. And I'm really glad that Jules said that, because that was something that was really, you know, something in my core. We what I believe. So I hope your plans for New Year's go well and whatever you do, because think of me if you're up at midnight, because I will be in bed. And I hope you have a wonderful change of year.
And however you observe it, if you look at having New Year's resolutions, if you don't, or if you're doing what I do, where you just sort of evaluate change and see what happens, because, look, I decided to make some changes two years ago, and some of them have stuck and some of them are not at all being observed. And so it's just progress. So give yourself the grace to have a little bit of progress, and I'll see you again next Sunday.
