Make Your Dreams Come True!

All right. Okay. I had some technical difficulties this morning, but I figured it out, deleted the app and reinstalled it. And it works every time. Good morning, you guys. It's Friday. I've got my coffee. Shocking. We are going into the most beautiful weekend here. The weather is going to be in the eighties in Arizona. And I heard that it's in, like the sixties or something in Minnesota. All right. Junk food junkie is here. Sorry about the delay, you guys. I was just saying I had some technical difficulties with the app.

Sometimes my phone is crazy, but I'm here. We are doing this. Okay. Newfie lover. Sue. Yes. Let's go. Okay. Some people are joining. All right, so. So you guys got the trusty notebook? It is Friday. Let me just tell you. I had a week, okay? I'm in my busy season. I am dressing probably 16 or 17 people right now whilst trying to plan a keynote speech, whilst planning for the national anthem. Marissa's here. What's up? And just crazy. Like, it's just wild right now. And in the best way possible. I don't know if you guys remember, but my word of the year this year was abundance.

And it is coming at me like a freight train. Anyway, I have a little story for you guys. And as always, it pertains to making your big dreams come true. And this week, it's going to be about just haters getting in the way. And what do we do about that? And what do we do about the naysayers? And what do we do about the people who are not evolving in the same way that we're evolving and who are not doing the work on themselves? And isn't it interesting how oftentimes it's the people closest to us, okay?

It's the people that are in our lives that are supposed to be our ride or dies, our rocks. The people that are supposed to champion us and love us no matter what? And isn't it interesting how we can sometimes feel like we get more love from somebody on the Internet that we've never even met? And more support and more cheerleading and more jumping up and down than junk food junk then from junk food junkie than maybe perhaps a family member of mine? So I want to tell you guys a little story. And I don't want to really throw this particular person under the bus.

So I'm going to say it in a way that if they were to ever see this, they'd know it was about them. But the rest of the world is enough to know it's about them. Because I think it's important that I use my real life scenarios for you guys to paint the picture of how we get through these things, because these are the things that are really happening. I don't want to talk to you about crazy scenarios that might not mean anything to you that are just like what if scenarios. These are actual things that happen in my life that I use as lessons while I am trying to make my big dreams come true.

Because ultimately, that is. That's all I care about. Not all I care about, but mostly that's what I care about for my lasting legacy in this world is what kind of trail of success. And I define success by how I treat others and what kind of impact I make to help others. We've got sticks coming out of dogs mouths. Okay? And so how was I successful in my life? How did I give back? How did I help other people? And, you know, what kind of thing did I create to leave a lasting legacy? So, anyway, I'm gonna tell you this story, okay?

So a family member of mine asked if I could take them to the airport both on Saturday and then pick them up. So they wanted to park their car at my house and then have me drive them to the airport, which is fine. They live a little further. I live close to the airport. Never a big deal. But it was supposed to be tomorrow and next Tuesday. And like I just told you, I am in my busiest season. It's coming at me from all angles. When I say that I'm dressing actively, like, 16 or 17 people, that is not an exaggeration.

I have it all written down, and it's multiple outfits. It's like they have thing after thing after thing after thing coming up. And I am constantly scouting clothing and dressing. Imagine dressing 17 body types and 17 personalities, 17 million different occasions. Okay, so I said, I can take you on Saturday, but let me look at Tuesday so some time rolls on. And I say, okay. Oh, wait. Then I call the person because I needed some clarification on another part of their text. And I said, you know, person, don't forget that my brother in law, insert name also works from home.

And so if I can't do it, they live five minutes down the road. Maybe he can do it. And this person said to me, well, he's working. He'll be working. And my face just, like, got hot. And I was like, uh huh. I will also be working. I will just be working double the amount of jobs that that person has. But no big deal. I'm just over here trying to run two companies and that person works from home, and their boss resides in another state. And it just didn't make any sense to me. So, like, because how I felt was it was a little bit of a sexist comment, and I felt like their work is more important than mine because I am my own boss.

And then I really had to think about whether or not I want to take this person to the airport. And I was like, you don't even value my time, so why do I want to give it up when I charge a lot of money for my time to cater to you and shuttle you to the airport when you're not even grateful? And you don't even understand that by me breaking up my day at 01:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, I'm ruining my day. m. And then it's, like, downhill from there. So I'm gonna have to, like, prepare for this whole thing.

It was just a nightmare. And I waited a little bit to give my answer, and I decided to set a boundary. You guys have heard me talk about boundaries a million times before, and I said, I can take you on Saturday, but I'm too busy to take you on Tuesday. I have too much going on. I didn't use the words I'm too busy, but I said, it's really hard for me to break up my day. I'm dressing a lot of people right now. It's a really busy time. I didn't say I'm too busy because I know how that person reacts to those words, and nobody wants to hear I'm too busy.

It's just an unpleasant retort. The response, oh. And so I finished the text with, oh, and by the way, you know, I also wanted to tell you that that comment that you made about comparing my work to this other person's work, it kind of hurt considering, like, I am a single woman who is running two businesses, sometimes, like, two and a half, if you count my jewelry stuff that I do on the side, and also preparing for a speech. And I'm doing a podcast interview today. I have three podcast interviews coming up in the next month.

I'm also working with four brides in the next month. Like, there's a lot going on. I was like, it just kind of hurt because it felt like my work wasn't as important as his work. And then the text messages just spiraled. I ended up having an altercation with this person over the phone, and immediately, instead of listening to how I felt, because I was the one who was hurt in that moment. It was defense mode. It was. Well, I'm upset, too. Okay. Why are you upset? I'm upset cause you're upset. And it was just, like, spiraling, like, out of control.

And then I felt like myself, like, this conversation is going nowhere because I'm not even being heard all of this to say, this person is very close to me. They are in my immediate family. And I think in moments like that, when you have to justify the work that you're doing, and you have to justify what is important to you, and you have to justify where your time goes and whether or not it's important time or unimportant time. If it were a day where my work day was over and it was the evening, I would have no problem, and this wouldn't have even been a conversation.

But to downplay the work that I'm doing and what's important to me and my livelihood. Like, if I stop working in the middle of the day when I'm about to go out of town and I have a lot of things going on, like, it throws off my whole day. I didn't hear any sense of gratitude. I didn't hear any sense of, like, does this work for you? Or. We are so grateful. We really want to go with you so we can see you, whatever it may be, to, like, put me at ease and to make me want to give up the time to be with you, because I otherwise would love time with you that I don't typically get because it's usually when you need something.

I just felt like this person had a real opportunity to make it right with me. And the worst part about it was that there needed to be an exchange of some money owed for some stuff. And this person had the opportunity to drop me a check at the same time that they were bringing a check to somebody else in my family and was five minutes away just shortly after this whole thing took place and decided to put my check in the mail and hand deliver hers. So it just felt like, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap.

And it just felt so hurtful. And what I learned from this was a couple of things. Like, number one, there are going to be people who don't know how to support where you're at in your life and don't know how to feel happy for you, because they might not necessarily be happy for themselves or know how to support themselves. So it starts with them, and it is not personal. It is just what they are capable of, and it's just where they're at in their life and the work that they've done. And number two, there are going to be certain people in your life that even though you feel like they should be the closest person to you, they aren't necessarily, they aren't the biggest cheerleader in your corner.

They aren't somebody who knows how to feel really big for other people. Because let me tell you, that is definitely a personality trait. I know how to feel really big and celebrate other people. When I talked to some other family members who know this person, I started, like, learning some of the work that they're also doing and learning about just the people that have been around us our whole life. And it just felt like I felt a little bit more seen and I felt like in good company. But it still doesn't make it any hurt any less.

So here are some ways that I feel like what, you know, what we can do when the closest people to us aren't growing with us and aren't growing at the same time of us as us. Because you guys, if you have done the personal development work, you're going to start to notice that people are falling off. They're on the outside looking in. They're watching your journey with maybe a little bit of envy or jealousy or misunderstanding. They're not necessarily going to take the journey with you. And that's okay.

Here's what you can do with those people in your life. You can limit your time with them. Number one, take them in small doses, limit your time, still have them in your life, but find ways to communicate with them and be with them that feel like little doses here and there. Number two, keep it really light with these people. Understand that they're not the ones that you're going to go deep with. If you are talking about your big dreams and talking about audacious goals, you should probably choose another big dreamer and another goal chaser to have those conversations with, not a person who doesn't understand the size of your big dreams.

Number three, be in your best energy when you see these people. If you know you are having a bad day and you have a plan with this person on the calendar or these types of people, perhaps you should set a boundary and cancel the plan so you don't dig a deeper hole of anger and resentment when you are around them. Number four, if you feel comfortable, state what you need or state how you feel. I took a moment to state how I felt. Now, was it received in the best way? Probably not, because I don't think this person has ever been challenged in their life.

Good for me for being the first one to do it. Some people will be really open to hearing how you feel, and others will get defensive, and they will find excuses, and they will nail you to the wall because they're so uncomfortable. They don't like confrontation, and they certainly don't know how to take constructive criticism or understand how somebody else's feelings may have been hurt and see that as their own fault or their own problem. But if you can find a way to communicate with them, figure out what makes them function in terms of communication and ask.

If you can have an open conversation about how you feel and ask them to listen, not talk, then I encourage you to do so. And number five. Ooh, this is a good one. Turn up the volume. Get your listening ears ready. Put yourself first. They certainly are. Put yourself first in all of these situations. Stop being a people pleaser. Stop being a people pleaser. Take care of your own feelings. Protect your bubble. Protect your dream space. Protect the state of dream stasis. I'll say them again, limit your time with them.

Keep it light. Be in your best energy when you see these people, and state what you need if you feel comfortable. And don't forget to always put yourself first. These people will cause us to go backwards in our life and in our work. I don't care if they are blood. Go get the book. Set boundaries. Find peace by Nedra Tawab. And read it. If you haven't already, if you've been here for a while, you know all about that book. Go get that book, read it, and report back and tell me what you think. Because it is the Bible of my life.

I am obsessed with it. I have learned how to state what I need. Be kind. Well, I was maybe a little unkind the other day. No, I was direct. I wasn't unkind. Be direct. State what you need. Put yourself first. Be considerate, of course, in all conversations if you want to have a lasting relationship with this person, but you want them to meet you where you're at, it's going to take work. I'm going to catch up on some of these. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Good morning, Risa. I want to thank you for the journaling idea.

I have been writing down the memories of my mom as they come to me in my journal book that makes my heart so happy. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Oh, I'm so proud of you. That's amazing. Let's go, Luke. Let's go, Alec. Marissa. Yes. Okay. Yes, Risa, you're the best. Oh, my gosh. I love you guys so much. I mean, honestly, like, I really take the real life things that are happening to me, and I bring them here to you, and I try to give you actionable steps to get through it and learn from my mistakes. Don't blow up at somebody that you're super close with, and don't do it on a day where you're really hot headed already or you feel like it's maybe not the best day for communication for you.

If you just, like, had fraud alert in your bank account and somebody drained it and then you go have a conversation that's supposed to be helpful and meaningful and create resolution with somebody, it's probably not gonna work, okay? So just be mindful of the way that you communicate. But also, don't forget, like, you're number one. This is a cheer I did in high in, like, grade school or whatever, and it's like, you're. We're number one. We won't be number two. Cause we're gonna beat the whoopsie out of you.

So just don't. Don't worry about the whoopsie part. Just remember that, like, you're number one, you won't be number two. Okay. I just had to give you the whole cheer because, like, that's what I do anyway. Oh, my gosh. I love you guys. We're 20 minutes in. I always say I'm gonna keep it short, and then it turns into a TED talk, but I love you guys. Thank you for being here. I hope you liked my morning cheer. We didn't have any dog barking or dog playing winning. Okay, have a great weekend. Oh, wait.

Have self awareness on how others perceive you and uses you will go along. Go and uses you will go along the way, along. Way on how you limit your time with them and. Yep. Without any ill feelings toward them. Yep. Sorry I couldn't read, but, yes, absolutely. I love your energy. Thank you for the upbeat messages. Aw, thanks. Have the best weekend, you guys. I love you, too. I love energy. Sometimes you just have to, like, bring the heat. I am doing a podcast interview today, and it's gonna be about kind of getting your second chance.

So I'm really excited about that. And when it comes out, I'll let you guys know. But I really use this platform as my safe space to share all of these things with you, and it feels really good to be able to do it. And I encourage you to keep writing things down and keep journaling. And when something happens to you that you feel like was a struggle or that you need to learn from. Write it down, and then you can look back and see how far you've come in your coping skills and your journey just in being a human being, because it's complicated enough.

Am I right? Okay, you guys, I love you. Thanks for hanging in, and I will see you. Let's see. I'll see you next week. And then there are a couple dates in March where I'm at a commission and probably gonna hope to swap days or just be on for different days. So just pay attention to the schedule, because there's a couple days in March where I will be out of town. So just. Just, you know, thanks for being here. Thanks for being on the Cadre platform. We're so grateful for you. Love you guys. Oh, wait.

What was the name of that book again? It's called Set Boundaries, find peace. Hang on. Let me show you. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Set boundaries, find peace. Where are you? Oh, I don't know where it is. On my bookshelf. I don't know, you guys, but it's called. It's called set Boundaries, find peace. And it's by Nedra towab. It's on Amazon. Alec has read it. There it is. Alec changed my life. Really great book, guys. It tells you how to set boundaries with your coworkers, with your family members, with your partner, with your friends.

It's so easy to digest, and she just really makes it user friendly. It's not complicated. It's very direct. Just like this woman who wrote it. She's amazing. She's also on Instagram. But read the book. I'm sure it's by my bedside, because I literally, like, refer to it constantly. So read it and use it as a tool for your life. Literally. And underline things, highlight things, put post it notes in there, and. And use it as a guidebook for how to set boundaries with people. I think a lot of times, we think, like, a boundary has to be negative, but, in fact, it's actually a really positive tool to have in your life.

So if you haven't read a book about boundaries yet, this is where you need to start. Love you guys. I'll post it in the community feed. Yes. Bye.