Sunday Serenity

Good evening, everybody in the cadre sphere. Hey, Jason Lennox, coming to you with Sunday Serenity. Happy to be here a few minutes late. Apologies for that. Been a bit of a day, busy, just getting ready for the week, but it's exciting to be here. And I wanted to talk a little bit tonight about just a line that kept coming to mind for me this week. I actually wrote about this a little bit, maybe the end of last week. And the line was, until it's too late, it's not too late. And it actually came to me.

I was out to dinner last week. I've got a couple actually younger cousins, but they're more like nieces and sometimes just very, very close people in my life. And Emma and Sophie, and they live around me and 17 and 20 now. I've just got to spend a lot of time together and to be with them. But 15 years ago, I was in a really bad place coming out of treatment, addiction, etc. If you're here, you relate with that, you get that. You know what that means. Relationships are broken. These 2 girls probably had no idea who I even was, and if they did, it wasn't a good idea that they had about me.

I would say even 10 years ago, several years into my recovery, there were still strained relationships. And part of that is it just takes a while for things to heal. But I kind of kept showing up. And I had to work through a lot of things on my own and realize and try to give people the benefit of the doubt that these relationships and if people left me and they weren't there and all the resentments I had, I just had to realize that people do the best they can with what they know when they have it.

And sometimes That might feel like it excuses people, but the reality is for me, giving that benefit of the doubt really just puts the onus on me to say, you know what, I'm going to do what I can to contribute to the lives of other people, to relationships, etc. So until it's too late, it's not too late to establish these kinds of relationships. And I always tell you, over the past 10 years, these two wonderful people in my life I've got to watch play all kinds of sports, grow through school and into these young women who are just doing these amazing things and they care for people and just a really unique relationships and now we just get to go do things.

I've thought about all this because again last week it was spending some time with them and it was dinner and then it was ice cream and then it was acai bowls, just all these little traditions that we have and it just occurred to me like maybe my weeks would be 8s somewhere in there, maybe better, maybe give or take here and there. But they kind of bump to 10s when I get to have weeks and moments like that. And it just really makes me realize how grateful I am and how I think how important it is that we all have people like that in our lives.

And again, that means that I have to take the initiative sometimes and I need to try to get over the feelings and the things that I have. And again, that's not to excuse everything, but for me, when I can do that, I can set it aside, give people the benefit of the doubt and go, people are just doing what they could with what they had and what they knew. That's the information they had then. And so did they leave me? Did they kind of, were they not there for me, all those things? I could feel that way and I could sit in that and that wouldn't feel good and I would never get past this because they're not going to come approach me and go, sorry that we did something that we just didn't know.

So it's up to me to kind of take the initiative. And the best part about all that is then everybody wins. I've got these special people in my life that really add so much value and joy and meaning to my life. And then I hope it's the same the other way around that we probably wouldn't still be doing all these things and have that relationship otherwise if it wasn't. So really it's when I can set aside what I think I know about what people feel, what they believe, what they did to me, And I can really take that initiative and just contribute and develop and maintain these relationships.

My gosh, it's the most beautiful part of my life. And again, I didn't have that 15 years ago. And if I sat in kind of these moments of this is the unfortunate me and poor me, all those things we know that can be harmful, I wouldn't have that. to anyone who is still dealing with that and kind of going through that, it's not too late. It's only too late when it's too late. And that's when I'm 6 feet under, when somebody else is 6 feet under. You know, until that moment, it's never too late to start and to establish a relationship.

I'm still regularly doing that with people in my life. But because I started working on these things, you know, a decade ago, Now I have the fruits of that are these people and just again these humans that bring so much joy to my life. They're the biggest part of it. They're what keep me kicking a lot of days in the right direction and doing the things that are hard, that are challenging and getting through those times. I just think it's so important that phrase just stuck with me. Until it's too late, it's not too late.

And that applies across the board to any relationship, to just any habit, any practice we want to pick up. It's not too late. If you're here listening to this, me here sharing this, it's not too late for any of us to start doing these things. And I know sometimes it feels like we're getting old. We're past the point of being able to do this or working out, etc. That's not the case. I sat with someone today who's same age and it's like, oh, I think I've gone over that hill and being able to kind of get out and do the things physically.

And me, I'm over here going, I just did this simulation for this exercise I'm doing next weekend yesterday. And my gosh, I haven't felt like I've been in this shape of my entire life. So really, it's not too late until it is. And when it is, that's my life's mission to kind of live in that space of what it would be if it was too late and what it is like to be right there at the end of life, at the end of the road, to think about that, to imagine that, to play that through and go, I don't want to be sitting there going, why didn't I do that?

Why didn't I take that initiative? Why didn't I establish this relationship? Why didn't I get past that? And that's just to avoid the things we know that could be possible or that couldn't be possible to avoid the harm and miss out on the things that we know would be good. These 2 relationships I just told you about to start, I wouldn't have ever even guessed that those would have been possible. So those are just kind of over the top bonus points that happen to be some of the best bonus points that I've ever had.

So again, for me, it's about as long as we're here kicking and we have the ability and we're breathing and we're upright, it's not too late. It's not too late for me to pick up new things to start something different. to share with somebody, to try to repair a relationship, to try to take ownership. It's not too late until it is. So I know that for me, I don't want to be the person at the end of the road that's wishing. There's a woman by the name of Bronny Ware, if you get a chance, look this book up.

I think it's the five, top five regrets of people who are dying. And she does a lot of studying on this. And almost any regret that she covers over the span of any of these people, they talk about the things that they wish that they would have done that they didn't do. So it isn't as much about regretting the things that I did that I wish I didn't do. It was about regretting the things that I didn't do that I wish I'd had. And again, relationships, habits, being healthier, taking more time, seeing the world, all of those things are going to fall into, 80 years old on the last days going, I wish I would have done more of that.

And I don't want to be in that position. So like I said, until it's too late, it's not too late. So go start something tomorrow. Just start simply with, you know, where can you find the couple people and the couple relationships? And if you already have them, great, but then think about those, reflect on those, let those people know that that's what they mean. are such an important part of that. And, I think we miss out on that sometimes. But where are those people that add two and three and four digits to my week?

Because I need to constantly be placing myself around those people if I want my weeks to be 10s, right? And when my week's a 10, that means the work I'm doing and the way that I'm showing up out here is a 10. And, you know, if I don't have those things, I could very easily sit in my own little space and my own little head and end up at the four, 5, and six, and guess what? That's what the world, that's the version of Jason that the world's gonna get as well. So I'm just grateful when I think back to all the relationships that I have, and especially this couple like I talked about, that I just wouldn't have had if I didn't take this initiative and certainly wouldn't have had without recovery and being willing to kind of take ownership of my side, set aside what I think other people know and should have done, and just be the person that can show up, be the person that can support be the person that hopefully people in my life remember for a long time and then long after I'm gone go, okay, that's the kind of person that I want to show up and be for other people.

So I'll say it one more time and then I'll probably sound like a broken record, but until it's too late, it's not too late. And if that's at 39, like my age, if it's a, you know, 89, 69, 49, anywhere in there, it's not too late. And I wasn't going to talk about this, but I'll end with this because it's ironic that today is actually the day that my father passed away 22 years ago. And in that case, it is too late. And I wrote about this. I wrote about this in a blog post years ago. When it's over, it's over.

And that's a very silencing. Just sit with that. When it's over, it's over. My dad was 39 years old when he passed away from cirrhosis of liver. It's the age I am today and the path I was on before I found recovery. When it's over, it's over. There is no second chance. There is no repairing. There is no next relationship. There is no having the conversation I'm having in the cadre sphere right now for my father. He's been gone 22 years and nothing will ever change because of that. I'm grateful that I get to carry on for him.

But that's what I mean. Until it's too late, it's not too late. And for him, it got to be too late. And the change didn't happen. But if you're here listening to this, clearly that's not the case. There's a possibility for me. That's how I look at it. This is a possibility, this world, this life, this life I've been granted and fortunate to find. And I'll forever be grateful for that. And that's why I will continue to share with people, with you all, with my family. with the close people in my life because I'm kind of living on bonus time.

So that's what I got. I hope you're all having wonderful weeks. Cheer on my Celtics if you can tonight. If you're in Minnesota, T-Wolds also up 3-1, so that's good. Couple injuries could be tough, but we're deep in the basketball playoffs and in Minnesota and Boston right now we're happy people. So cheer both those teams on or your teams wherever you're at. unless they're playing the two that I mentioned and you know we've got a little bit of conflict. But anyhow, I hope you all have wonderful weeks and you enjoy the nice spring kind of coming to life of everything that's happening here in Minnesota and the United States and wherever you are.

I hope you have wonderful weeks and we will do this again very soon. We'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye bye.