I coach fitness for a living. Strength, nutrition, all of it. But that’s just the surface. Underneath it I’m a husband, a father, and a guy who spent years figuring out what being a man even means. Two parts today. First I introduce myself.. the real version, not the highlight reel. Then we get into the bigger thing.. what it actually is to be a man.
Testing testing, testing, testing. Cole what's going on, brother. My first livestream. Probably jumped on here. A. Little early, but that's okay. I want to just make sure all the technology works there. Yep. 100% brother. Um, volume wise. Everything's good. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome, man. I'll give it a minute here. Obviously it's not quite three yet, or it will be three here in a second. Boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Well, let's do it. All right. So, um, cadre. What is going on, guys? Um, my name.
Is Matthew Arnold. And I am a new contributor to the Kore world. Katri world and community and, um, this is pretty exciting. And I'll be, I'm like, you know, disclaimer, here. A lot of the stuff that comes out of me. Is usually very spontaneous coming through, like, my emotions, my thoughts at the moment. I usually have kind of like a baseline game plan when I'm stepping into this kind of. World. Um, but at the same time, I'm just kind of, you know, I like to speak from the heart. And so let's just start out with who am I?
And why the heck am I on here? Um, so my name is Matthew Arnold. And I am a 43 year old dad. Husband and business owner. I have a business down in Rochester, Minnesota. And I own a facility, a gym. Um, that focuses on group fitness. And personal training and everything else in between there. Um, I also own and operate a online coaching business, which we focus on. Again, training. Nutrition lifestyle, all that jazz. Uh, my two boys. Are nine and 13 years old. They're incredibly, incredibly active in.
All the sports. Um, both of them right now are very into soccer. Uh, one of my, one of my, my oldest son, 13 he's 13, his name is Mason. Um, he is actually gonna be starting out with the academy team in Minnesota. Um, part-time this year, which is an amazing opportunity. And I'm really excited about that. Um, and then my wife. Uh, she, um, we've been married for. 15 years now coming up and you know, she's a nurse practitioner provider at Mayo clinic. And she works in primarily in family medicine.
But before that, she. Worked in, um, in psych for many, many years. And that's how she's gone to deal with me. Um, and honestly, I've you know, like this. This kind of, you know, this kind of world, I never would've expected. Myself, like, you know, my, you know, someone like me to be able to like step into this. Role and say like, Hey, I can offer something that I think a lot of people. You know, would take, you know, take and, and recognize that as incredibly valuable and. So now that I'm in this role, I'm just gonna like, you know, hit the ground running and see.
What happens? Um, some other little stuff about me. Um, obviously. Yeah. I'm I'm in gym guy. I, I love staying active. I love working with people. I love, you know, I, I work with hundreds of people online. I work with. Quite a few people in person one-on-one. And so, yes, my job. And on the, you know, framework or the, you know, on the outside. Is working through health and fitness, I'm there to get people stronger. I'm there. To, you know, obviously you know, help them with their nutrition, get body composition changes, all that stuff.
Right. But under all that under that big hood of just like what's so cool. And like that. Looks so amazing. Like I want to, I want like, I want you to be my coach to. Change my body. It becomes more than that. And I've recognized that fitness is. Now this doorway to basically transform yourself internally into like a better person. And the amount of stories. And, you know, changes from these stories for like, you know, life issues. Issues or how to deal with like, you know, stress in different manners as a fitness coach.
Like I've, you know, I've been a part of that with now, like thousands of individual. Individuals. And I don't take that very lightly. Like I, you know, it's it's something that I think for a lot of individuals, it's, it's hard to like share that outwardly. To any wonder around them and somehow. This coach, this fitness guy, you know, has become kind of like just a friend. And listening ear and someone that can hopefully give, you know, good advice. Too. So I'm not a licensed therapist or I don't have any of those kind of pro.
Credentials, I'm legitimately just a fitness coach. And my hope for the cadre world is to. Number one, give a perspective. That I feel like is gonna be really important from just like a coaching aspect. Like the health fitness coach. Coaching aspect, why it is so important to, you know, take care of your body because. Taking care of your body is also gonna take care of your mind. It's not gonna be something that's going to be life changing, but it is definitely going to be there to like, help. Right.
Um, on the other aspect of things, I'm also a very like open. And vulnerable, like individual that wants to talk about my own personal hardships. Of being a man. And I think that's like the biggest thing that I, I, I think that. In the last couple years. I have, you know, dealt with. And navigated. And now that I'm, you know, definitely have navigated quite a bit. With that I'm willing to share that. And I'm really excited to like, do that because. You know, from the outside of things. I look like your typical Jim bro.
You know, I grew up as a wrestler. I grew up, um, playing a lot of sports. I did a lot of martial arts. Um, I currently am a brown belt in jujitsu. I'm quote, unquote. A very tough guy, right? Um, but underneath that, underneath all that FAC fresh shot and stuff like that. I am also someone that recognizing that, you know, like there's like these. Emotion sensitivities. That I've been holding for such a long time. That it really pushed me down like the rabbit hole. Of, you know, my self worth. Self-worth and so last few years, especially like I've.
Decided, like I need to like, you know, step into this journey of who I am. Because I didn't know who I was. Um, like I, I thought that I needed to be, you know, this individual of. You know, being successful as a business owner, you know, providing for his family. And just doing this bare minimum. Of, you know, being a parent, whatever. And then all of a sudden, like underneath all that. There was like something missing somebody. Like core value, like just like my soul wasn't there. And through the last, like three years of this kind of just this.
Journey of just trying to figure that out. I realized everything that I was doing. Was through a, you know, through actions of. Fear and and, and honestly like, just like. Trying to piece everyone else. When I wasn't doing any of that for myself. And I truly feel like that's something that for men. Especially men around my age. We are dealing with pretty hard. Cuz I think, you know, again, like most of us, most guys, I would say, have grown up with the understanding of the, you. Need to be this, you need to be this.
You need to be this. You should have, you know, pretty minimal emotions. Maybe our fathers didn't really place a lot of emotional trust. Or emotional openness to us. And so we were kind of like this concrete, like we had, we looked at everything. Very black and white. And I think where we're stepping into right now in this world is we're recognizing that like, that's not. Okay. And so this is where for me, it's like, I want to. Start establishing and redefining what is being a man. Like what is truly being a man, a husband.
A father, what, you know, all that. Like, I want to redefine that because I think right now, it's kind of in this like gray zone. That there are some guys that are like, you know, they're they're they understand who they are yet. They're not, they're not willing to share that. There are some guys that are just like in the deep rabbit hole and they're, there's like a small population. Like myself that are not only like discovering who they are re. Recognizing those, those battles, but now like I'm willing to, willing to share that.
And. Want to open that conversation up with all the other men. Um, that are going through that same battle. And so to me, again, what is a man? There's there's a lot of components to it, obviously. We want to be that, you know, we want to be successful in so many components, but in. Order to like, get to that component of success. What is that going to look like? And so again, like I'm gonna reference my own personal. You know, in, in the short narrative, of what I had to go through. I just, wasn't happy with myself.
And it's it's, it's weird to say that like on the outside, like I was, I was so successful. You know, like I was his coach that everyone and that everyone knew I, you know, was building a successful gym and. And, and, you know, providing for my family. But under all that under all that, like I just. I wasn't happy when I would like go home. You know, after work and. You know, the kids are getting done and it's family time. I wanted to check out or I wanted to like work more. Because I didn't want to deal with these emotions that were just like hanging.
Hanging over me. I wanted to just. Escape and do my own thing and just like shut down. And for those of you that have been there or have seen their parents go through that. That's not okay. Right. Um, you know, all my happiness, you know, with my wife, for example, was all about. Just making her happy. Right. Like I wanted to make, you know, like I wanted to make her happy, make sure that like, you know, whatever I did. Was about her and not about me. And that seems so kind of, that seems so weird, right.
That. Seems like, wow. Like, you know, like, I I'm doing these actions because yeah. I'll make her happy. But then like, you know, we're. Matt's happiness. Right. And that's, I know a lot of guys go through that. Right. Or like, say if like she's upset about something and it's not necessarily about you, but it. Is gonna be about you, right? Because you're that guy you're that you're like, oh God, I'm a failure. Right. And that's the other thing. We look at failure as, as such a black and white aspect of.
Things when it's, it shouldn't be, it's just, you know, it's just, it should be a tool. For us to like, recognize. Okay. Like that was kind of cool. And I'm not gonna do that again. Right. Or that was kind of. That, that was kind of, you know, like a, like a hard learning experience, but you know what, like, I am so much better off now. Right. So I've been dealing with all that, like all that. And recently, you know, I, I had a very good close friend of mine. And, you know, this was during our jujitsu time and we were just, you know, he.
Could tell that I was off. That I was, that I was not the normal. Mat, which who knows what the normal mat is. Right. But. At that time, he was just like, Maddie, like. I think like you're hiding something, like, tell me what that is. And I finally, you know, like I, at that moment, some, some. Somehow, like I was finally okay. To like, just. Completely let go. And, and just. Tell him like everything that I was battling, like these inner demons that I had. And just for 45 minutes, just, we just sat on the mats and just talked.
And all of a sudden. Like all this internal like, you know, things that were like weighing me down all this, like clouds and. Whatever that was weighing me down. It just disappeared. And all of a sudden, like this clarity of like who I am. And what makes me a man, a someone that, that. That has a lot of value. Like just became just right there in front of me. And it's, it's hard to explain. And this is still something that I, I am, I myself, am still navigating. But once I got to this point, it has been the most, like life-changing.
Thing that I would say. Everett like it, it is just. It is fun to become. Like it is, it is an, a bit fun to recognize, like, so many more things in front of me. And I guess like the best way to describe it is like you live a life. Of just black and white colors all the time. And now I see an infinite amount of colors around me. And it's like, wow. Like, I can't believe I've been living this life or. Being this sad or just, you know, not recognizing that like, Hey. Like, I, I can be happy of who I am.
And not, not dictate my happiness. Happiness because of someone else, how someone else is feeling. Or, you know, like, that situation didn't go as planned. Like. I am who I am, and it has been. Incredibly powerful for me. And that's what I want to like navigate and journey through with everyone else in here. As well as some fitness. But, um, you know, I want to end end this kind of onto one cool component. That I like, I want to show you like the shift that's happened for me because of this. So last night.
I had this conversation with my wife. And she was upset about something. And I was like, okay. There's, there's something underlying all these, all these things that we're talking about. You seem upset at me. And I can't pinpoint that. Right. And so we had this conversation. And it was a good conversation. It wasn't a conversation of. She's she's, you know, talking with me and then all of a sudden I'm becoming defensive and I can't. Can't like, think because like all of a sudden it's like my fault.
It was me just being curious and trying to understand. You know where she's coming from and, you know, like, you know, wanting to know like, okay, like, you know, I'm not going to fix anything. But I want to know, I want to build this awareness right. And so the conversation ended, you know, had her night, whatever. And slept great. Next day, you know, I messed her. I was like, Hey, like, I want you to know that. I am not upset about our, our. Our conversation. I thought it was great. Like thank you for letting me understand more of your perspective.
But also like, I, you know, I want to be more supportive and be there for you more so. I just want you to know that. And I want you to know, like, that seems like, okay, like, you know, what's so great about that. That, that would've never happened. In the past for me. Because of my own insecurities as a guy. I would've seen everything as like, it's my fault. And that I'm not good enough for her. And this time around, it was like, this is something that she's going through. As her husband, I need to be there to like, listen to her.
Understand where she's coming from. But also rec and recognize that like, you know what, like I like I can't do anything right now. But just to support her. And that's gonna be good enough for her and to be able to like, get to that point. Where I'm not emotionally drained. And fearing for my life and my marriage, because. I think what she's seen at that moment is like devastating. It was a huge, huge win. And I think that's, again, it seems so small on the outside. But it is so big in the inside because to get to this point where I'm at.
Was years of me drive, trying to figure myself out. And redefine who I am as a man. And again like that is going to be my goal for, you know, for this community. And I hope to God, like I can, you know, be someone that, you know, for a lot of you guys that are kind of going through this, be able to like talk. With and, you know, and just, you know, see what's up because it is, it. It's a hard subject to talk about, right. And I want to, you know, like I'm, I'm okay. Being open about it. So, yeah, this is my, my first live.
Live, uh, video. And, uh, I appreciate all of you guys. I hope you guys find some sort of value from this. And honestly, I hope you guys get to know me quite a bit. Um, but, uh, yeah, guys have a great Thursday and, uh, peace out.
